Love is blind. And occasionally, half-Cyberman.
Short Synopsis
Ianto’s been secretly keeping his partially converted girlfriend alive in Torchwood’s basement. Predictably, she wakes up, kills people, and tries to start a new Cyber race. Jack, Gwen, and company have to decide whether to save humanity or Ianto’s doomed love life. (Spoiler: humanity wins.)
Extended Storyline
It’s just another day at the Torchwood Hub. The team’s relaxing upstairs, Jack’s brooding handsomely, and below them, Ianto is… feeding his secret cyborg girlfriend. Because apparently “alien containment protocols” do not include “no unauthorized robot girlfriends.”
Turns out, Lisa Hallett, Ianto’s former girlfriend from his days at the Canary Wharf disaster (the one with the Cybermen and Daleks in Doctor Who), didn’t die — well, not entirely. The Cybermen partially converted her before the Torchwood team found her. Rather than letting her go, Ianto smuggled her into the Hub’s basement and has been using Torchwood’s tech to keep her alive in the hopes of one day reversing the process. It’s equal parts tragic, romantic, and spectacularly stupid.
Things go from “ethically gray” to “sci-fi disaster” when Ianto hires a Japanese cybernetics specialist, Dr. Tanizaki, to “fix” Lisa. She wakes up — immediately decides she’s not in the mood for rehab — and kills Tanizaki faster than you can say, “delete.” The rest of the team, blissfully unaware of the metallic murder happening below, carry on upstairs until the power starts flickering and the bodies start piling up.
Jack discovers the carnage and loses it, realizing Ianto has essentially been hosting a part-time Cyberman invasion under his feet. He locks down the Hub, traps everyone inside, and begins what can only be described as a very dark couples’ therapy session. Lisa, now fully embracing her Cyber identity, declares she will upgrade the planet — starting with Ianto, because apparently love means never having to ask before installing cyber-implants.
Torchwood rallies to stop her: Gwen does her best “I believe in the power of love” routine, Tosh and Owen panic stylishly, and Jack yells orders while waving his gun in cinematic frustration. Lisa escapes, transferring her human brain into another woman’s body (the poor pizza delivery girl, because Torchwood’s HR violations know no limits).
The twist? Even in her new form, Lisa insists she’s still herself — still human, still capable of love. Jack, unimpressed by this cyber-romantic reasoning, shoots her dead before Ianto can intervene. It’s brutal, tragic, and weirdly poignant.
In the aftermath, Ianto collapses, shattered by grief and betrayal. Jack, torn between fury and pity, spares him — barely — telling him to “clean up the mess.” Which is a very Jack way of saying “grieve on your own time, we’ve got aliens to shoot.”