Never trust a totem pole — especially if it whispers your name and ruins your social life.
Short Synopsis
Clyde Langer, usually the show’s resident comic relief, gets a rough upgrade when an ancient alien curse makes everyone who knows him instantly despise him. Friends? Gone. Family? Gone. Even the vending machine won’t take his money. Forced onto the streets, Clyde learns what it’s like to be truly alone — until a fellow homeless teen helps him survive long enough to lift the curse and restore his life. Who knew ancient wood carvings could be such jerks?
Extended Storyline
It all begins, as many alien misfortunes do, with a school trip. The gang visits a museum exhibit featuring a mysterious Arctic totem pole that’s been giving off major evil Pinterest project vibes. Clyde, ever the class clown, jokes around near the artifact — because who wouldn’t tease a 3,000-year-old chunk of wood with teeth? Unfortunately, the totem pole takes offense and infects Clyde with an ancient curse. You know, the usual museum safety hazard.
At first, nothing seems amiss. Then people start acting… weird. Rani suddenly hates him with the fire of a thousand suns. Sarah Jane kicks him out of the attic like he’s just insulted Mr. Smith’s interface. Even Sky — sweet, wide-eyed Sky — recoils from him in fear. The curse is in full swing: everyone who knows Clyde now sees him as the worst person alive. It’s like being canceled by the entire universe, and no amount of witty comebacks can save him.
Heartbroken and utterly alone, Clyde ends up living on the streets, his only friend a young homeless girl named Ellie. She doesn’t know who he is, so the curse doesn’t affect her — at least, not yet. The two bond over shared loneliness, exchanging humor and warmth in between dodging the cold, cruel reality of London’s underbelly. For once, Clyde isn’t just comic relief — he’s heartbreakingly human.
Meanwhile, back on Bannerman Road, Sarah Jane’s team pieces together that the totem pole isn’t just cursed wood — it’s actually a prison for an alien known as Hetocumtek (which sounds like something you’d sneeze out during a cold). When the exhibit’s power supply is restored, Hetocumtek begins to awaken, its energy feeding off the emotional chaos it’s caused through Clyde.
Sarah Jane and Sky rush to the museum, freeing Clyde from the curse just as the alien tries to manifest. Clyde, ever the artist, defeats Hetocumtek by covering the totem pole in paint — breaking the spell and reducing an ancient god to an avant-garde art project. Unfortunately, when the curse ends, Ellie forgets Clyde entirely, leaving him with one final heartbreak as she disappears back into the night.
Back home, the gang welcomes Clyde back with open arms and a few awkward apologies. Bannerman Road is back to normal — if your version of “normal” includes haunted timber, alien deities, and emotional devastation.